Intro

Jody Brooks 0:01

You're not falling apart, you're waking up. If you're somewhere between 35 and 65, life feels like it's cracking open, the identity you built no longer fits, and the future feels terrifying, nobody around you seems to get it. Welcome, I'm Jodie Brooks, and this is Messy Midlife. Because this isn't a crisis, it's a calling to connect. Hello and welcome back, Messy Midlifers. If the last few episodes have been lighting up those signs of disconnection, the emptiness, the exhaustion, the drift, then today we get practical. It's all about the awareness check-in, not lofty meditation retreat or journal marathon that feels impossible in a busy life. I mean four really simple questions you can ask yourself in under five minutes morning, evening, or when that fog rolls in thick to cut through the noise and reconnect with what's real. I've learned both from piecing myself back together after that cubicle breakdown and from guiding others through their own midlife fog. The awareness isn't a one-time lightning bolt. It's a daily muscle, small, repeatable pauses that build trust with your inner world over time. These check-ins are your lifeline, empowering you to spot the drift early, name what's true, and choose from clarity instead of autopilot. And they work because they're accessible, no apps, no gear and no guru required. Just you, an honest person coming home to yourself. Because so many of us treat our inner signals like spam emails,

Why We Ignore Our Inner Signals

Jody Brooks 2:04

swipe left, mute, ignore till they pile up into overwhelm. We rush mornings on coffee and to-do lists, silencing the quiet knowing in our gut. We power through evenings, numbing them with screens, missing the real day's lessons. We white knuckle midlife changes, kids leaving, jobs shifting, bodies reminding us that time is finite, pretending that momentum equals direction. We convince ourselves busy equals productive, but deep down we know the drift is costing us joy, energy, and purpose. And over time that dismissal becomes habit. So the signals heaviness, irritability, numbness grow louder, more insistent until disconnection feels like the new normal. And that is why the awareness check-in is game changing. It interrupts the drift with four questions designed to activate your prefrontal cortex, that deliberate light on the subconscious depths we talked about in the previous episode. Question one tunes into feeling, two sources of gratitude amid the fog. Three clarifies intention and four reflects on truths learned.

The Four Questions

Jody Brooks 3:32

Simple yes Profound Absolutely. And the real power is this it moves you off autopilot and back into choice. Think of the check-in as your personal satellite navigation recalibration. Midlife bus veering off course. These questions just gently reset your route. No perfection needed, messy answers are always welcome. Like Mel Robin's five second rule meets gentle self compassion. Count down five, four, three, two, one. Ask and then importantly listen. Let's picture the iceberg again. Remember it's not what we see at the tip, it's the stuff below the surface steering that iceberg. The check-in shines a light below the surface on submerged habits, people pleasing voids, value betrayals before they steer you off course and into the rocks. The daily awareness begins the journey back to you. It becomes a daily anchor that stops you from drifting, and once you start, it gently rewires those thought processes. No longer reacting blindly, but responding wisely. That is both the freedom and the practice. Because check-ins aren't a magic pill. They feel awkward at first, and if you're anything like me, you think nice idea, but no thanks. That feels way too scary, and your mind wanders anywhere but in the direction of some self-awareness. And that is why awareness check-in is game-changing. It interrupts the drift with those four questions designed to bring you back to yourself before you've gone too far down the road on autopilot. And the beautiful thing is it does not need to be complicated, doesn't need an app, a workbook, a retreat, or a perfect morning routine. It just needs you for a few minutes telling yourself the truth. Think of it like satinav calibration, like we said, if you've taken a wrong turn, you don't need to panic. You don't need to throw the whole journey out. You just need to pause, check in, and gently reset the route. That is what these four questions do. They help you notice the drift early, they help you name what is real, and they help you choose from clarity rather than from habit, fear, or pressure. Now I know the first reaction for a lot of people is sounds lovely, but I'm not sure I'll actually do it. And I understand that because when something new asks us to stop and look inward, it can feel very awkward at first, scary and uncomfortable. Sometimes it feels like Jim Newbies on day two. Everything aches, nothing feels natural yet, and part of you wants to say, This is not for me. I tried it, it didn't work. But that does not mean it isn't working. It means you're building a new muscle. And awareness is exactly that. It's a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. The more you practice it, the more natural it becomes. I've lived both sides of this. At 49, sitting in that toilet cubicle, I had no language for what I was feeling in that moment. I only knew I was exhausted, hollow, and drifting. When I started checking in with myself, the answers began to surface. Not all at once, but enough to show me slowly what mattered, where alignment lived and what I had been ignoring. Integrity, justice, authenticity, growth, making a difference. Over time those answers surfaced for me, and they did not just tell me what I liked, they showed me exactly where my life was out of alignment, and that is what I want these four questions to do for you. Not to create pressure, not to create perfection, just to create awareness. Let's meet the four questions properly. You can do them in the morning, you can do them in the evening, you can do them in the middle of the day if things start to wobble. In fact, you can do them anywhere, even in the queue at the supermarket or sitting in traffic. You can write them in a notebook if you like, type them in your phone or record them as a voice note or just say them in your head. There is no right way, just simply the act of asking the questions.

Question 1: How Do I Feel?

Jody Brooks 8:40

Question one, how do I feel right now? Simple question, but a powerful question. And I mean really name it tired, anxious, hopeful, frustrated, calm, excited, exhausted. Not the polished answer, not the socially acceptable answer, just the real answer. Because if you don't know how you feel, you cannot begin to understand what you might need. Sometimes I used to say I'm fine because that's the easiest thing to say. But fine was often the furthest thing from the truth. Now I know that if I ask the question honestly, the answer usually tells me everything.

Question 2: What Am I Grateful For?

Jody Brooks 9:31

Question two What am I grateful for today? Not what should I be grateful for? What am I actually grateful for? Three things is enough. Make it simple. Start small a warm shower, a good cup of coffee, a message from someone kind a walk by the sea or in nature, a quiet moment before the rest of the house wakes up. Gratitude does not deny the hard things in life. It simply reminds you that the hard things are not the whole of the story. When life feels foggy, gratitude is often the first light that comes back on and illuminates our path.

Question 3: What Would Make Today Good?

Jody Brooks 10:20

Question 3. What would make today good? Not perfect, just good. This one matters because it shifts you from vague pressures into clear intention. Maybe today good means getting the dog walked, maybe it means having one honest conversation, maybe it means leaving work on time, maybe it means cooking something simple, nice and nourishing. This is not about building a heroic day. It's about deciding what matters before the world decides what matters for you. If you don't know where you're going, any road is going to take you there.

Question 4: What Truth Did I Learn?

Jody Brooks 11:05

Question four. What truth did I learn today? This one is beautiful in the evening. It helps you reflect, not ruminate. It might be today showed me I was more tired than I realised, or today showed me I said yes when I meant no, or today showed me I felt lighter when I took a walk before I answered my emails. This is where awareness becomes wisdom. You're no longer just collecting moments, you're actually learning from them. What makes this practice so effective is that it brings you back online, it interrupts that automatic loop, that autopilot behavior that feeds disconnection. It gives your mind a moment to catch up with your body, it helps your subconscious and your conscious start talking to each other again. And once that happens, you begin to respond instead of react. That is the shift. That is the gift. Because when you are not checking in, it's very easy to drift. You wake up, you rush, you perform, you collapse, you go to bed, you wake up, repeat, and so on. And before you know it, you've been living a life that was never really examined. The check-in breaks that cycle. It says stop, come back, notice. Now, if you're someone that's tried things before and not stuck with them, I want to say this gently.

Building the Habit

Jody Brooks 12:54

Start smaller than you think you need to. One question is enough, one minute is enough, one line is enough. If you're a gym newbie, you don't walk in on day one and expect to lift the heaviest weight in the room. You begin with the basics and you build from there. You build consistency, you let your body adapt. It is exactly the same here. You're not trying to become a different person overnight. You're learning to hear yourself again. And if your mind wanders, that is completely normal. Just come back, breathe gently and return to it. If your answer feels vague, that's normal too. Just ask again, a little more gently. If you miss a day, that's not failure. It's just life, and you simply begin again the next day. So today's invitation is simple. Make the check-in a part of your day. Morning, evening, or in the middle when you need it most. Ask yourself, how do I feel right now? What am I grateful for today? What would make today good? And what truth did I learn today? And let the answers be honest. Let them be messy if they need to be. Let them be small. Just let them be enough. Because this is how we come back to ourselves, not in one giant leap, but in small, faithful check-ins that say, I'm still here and I'm still listening. And that is awareness in action. That is answering the call to connect. So until next time, stay curious, keep noticing, keep listening, and keep coming back to yourself. I want to invite you into something a little more personal. If Messi Midlife is speaking to you, you don't have to walk through this season alone. You can join the Authentic Life Community. A space to connect with me, connect with others, and explore the nine principles of authentic living. It's a place for honest conversation, gentle support and real connection without judgment. If that sounds like what you need, come and join us at authenticcoaching.me and look for the authentic life community.

Outro

Jody Brooks 15:24

Thank you for spending this time with me on Messy Midlife. If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who might need to hear it today. You can find the show notes below and more resources at authenticcoaching.me. And just a little gentle reminder Messy Midlife is here for information, reflection and personal growth. It isn't a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, therapy, or any other professional health care support. If you have concerns about your physical or mental health, please reach out to a qualified professional. Until next time, take good care of yourself. And remember, midlife might be messy, but it's not a crisis, it's a calling to connect.