Midlife Wake Up Call

Jody Brooks 0:00

You're not falling apart, you're waking up. If you're somewhere between 35 and 65, life feels like it's cracking open. Perhaps that's because something in you has finally stopped accepting the old verdict as the only verdict. Perhaps the voice that says, Who do you think you are? is not the truth of you. Perhaps it's only a very anxious person in a wig reading from a file that was written a very long time ago. Welcome back to Messy Midlife, it's not a crisis, it's a calling to connect. I'm Jodie Brooks, this is Season 3 Trust, and this is the place where we make a little room for the mess. Not because the mess is fashionable, but because it's usually trying to tell us something.

Courtroom Of Self Trust

Jody Brooks 0:45

Last week we found the courtroom. We did not build it, we did not decide to hold a trial. It was already in session, tucked somewhere behind the ribs and just underneath the thoughts you call your personality. The prosecution had been making its opening statement for years. The evidence had been selected, the verdict had been handed down before you were old enough to know you could ask a

Meet Your Inner Protectors

Jody Brooks 1:11

question. This week we meet the people giving the evidence. Not enemies, not defects, not proof that you're weak, difficult, dramatic, lazy, ungrateful, or any of the other labels that get thrown around far too cheaply. They are your inner protectors. They're the people in your own personal flat Earth society, deeply sincere, rather overconfident and still worried you're going to stroll off the edge of the map that has changed since they first drew it. And that matters because the question for this week is not what is wrong with me, the question is who is talking and what are they protecting.

Tuesday Morning Fog

Jody Brooks 1:55

Before I tell you about mine, see if you recognise the weather. You wake on a Tuesday with a decision to make. Then a voice arrives. It might tell you to wait, it might tell you to check again, it might tell you that you're about to embarrass yourself in public, and that everybody else received a manual you somehow missed. It might tell you to have another biscuit, look at your phone for ten minutes and begin tomorrow. When conditions are better, the moon is in a more sensible phase, and your star sign is rising and your socks will have matched themselves perfectly. If you found yourself doing the thing you thought you had outgrown, this episode is for you. If you can feel something stop you and also feel something push you to take over, explain, perform, please, get it perfect or vanish. This episode is especially to you. There is no need to solve it while you listen. Just notice the physical signs first. Is it a clench in your stomach, heat in your face, a heavy throat, a fizzing in your arms? Stay with the body for one breath before you ask for the story. You're allowed not to go any further

Self Doubt On Trial

Jody Brooks 3:47

today. In the courtroom of self-trust, self-doubt is the barrister for the prosecution. It speaks first, it lays out the case against you with the sort of certainty that suggests it has practised in the mirror. It calls the other protectors as expert witnesses, it sums up before the jury has even found its coat. Self-doubt is the fog on the road. It does not always shout. Often it's quieter and therefore harder to spot. It makes you slow down, turn back, ask for reassurance one more time, and then one more time after that. It asks whether you're really qualified, really ready, really entitled. It makes comparison look like research and hesitation look like wisdom. Sometimes self-doubt appears before you do anything. Sometimes it shows up afterwards when you send the email, say yes to the invitation, share the idea or make the decision, and then spend the next two days prosecuting yourself from the sofa. Why did you say that? Why did you not say this? What must they think? That is not a character flaw. That is a protector doing the only job it knows, which is trying to prevent a danger it believes is still just around the corner. Now my self-doubt has a particular kind of energy. It does not just tell me to hide, it can tell me I have to lead, explain, control, smooth things over, make the room safe before someone else decides I'm not. It's very good at making urgent action feel like confidence. There is a difference. Confidence can sit in a quiet room. Self-doubt wearing a confident hat wants to run the meeting before anyone else has found the agenda.

Imposter In The Wings

Jody Brooks 5:43

The next witness is the imposter. Now the imposter wears a mask. It stands just off stage while the audience claps and whispers. Enjoy it while you can. In a minute they'll see you have no idea what you're doing. It takes a real achievement and presents it back to you as a fraudulent claim. You got the job because they were desperate. You were praised because they were being polite. You were invited because somebody had made a mistake. You were kind because it was easy that day and anyone could have done it. An estimate that around seven in ten people experience at least one episode of the imposter phenomenon in their lives. Seven in ten. That's an awful lot of people quietly wondering whether somebody is about to pull back a curtain and announce that they've been rumbled. The figure is not there to turn human feeling into a statistic. It's there because you may have thought this private dread was evidence against you. It's not. You are in very crowded company.

Sid The Headmaster

Jody Brooks 6:51

Now my first protector is called Sid. Sid is an old headmaster. That's a made up name. The headmaster's name wasn't really Sid. He has a mask because the imposter always does, though Sid would never admit it. He has a gown that looks as though it smells faintly of dust and radiator heat. He carries a ruler for no useful reason whatsoever, and he peers over half moon glasses. He has the special talent of making you feel small at the exact moment you've done something well. You could be standing in front of a room that has genuinely listened to you, and Sid is by the door saying Yes, yes, but let us not get carried away, we shall see.

Ian The Inner Critic

Jody Brooks 7:37

Then there is the inner critic. The inner critic is the stern judge with a highlighter pen able to locate every flaw, every missed word, every tiny facial twitch from someone who may not even have been thinking about you. It replays mistakes with the commitment of a local radio station that owns only one song. It says you should have done better and everybody else is ahead of you. And do not celebrate that yet. There is bound to be a catch. My inner critics called Ian. Now Ian is a nerd, and I say that with the affection of a man who knows he has needed a nerd more often than he has wanted one. Ian is super intelligent, he knows where every file is, he knows the date, the weather, what someone said, what they probably meant, what they might have meant if you read it backwards in a mirror, and the exact occasion on which you were six years old and got a thing wrong in front of somebody important. He is the sort of person who would bring a graph to a picnic. He loves facts, except that he has a very selective definition of what counts as a fact. His favourite phrase is I told you so, and he's been waiting an astonishingly long time to use it. Ian can be exhausting, but he's also a huge asset. He knows where the files are. When the conscious part of you says, I don't know why this feels so big, Ian is often already at the filing cabinet sliding open a drawer with the flourish of a magician who has mistaken admin for theatre. The point is not to let him chair the whole meeting. The point is to understand that he's kept the evidence because in his odd and rather intense way, he believes it will keep you

Self Saboteur Escape Plan

Jody Brooks 9:26

safe. And then there is the fourth protector, the self-saboteur. Now this is the overprotective bodyguard who is convinced you are safer in the comfort zone. My version is also a conspiracy theorist. It hears somebody say the world is round and say, so the world is round, what does that change? You're nowhere near the edge. Have another bar of chocolate, go to the gym tomorrow. It will offer television, scrolling, food, busy work, a nap, a beautifully unnecessary online purchase, or a very persuasive reason to leave the important thing until later. It appears in passing, doing its job. We're not opening that particular trapdoor today. So the order matters. Self doubt is the barrister who brings the case. Sid the imposter sits in the witness box waiting for a mask to slip. Ian the inner critic produces a folder thick enough to require its own postcode. The self saboteur stands near the back door in a bomber jacket saying the whole building looks suspicious and perhaps everybody should go home. None of that means they

Recalibrate The Smoke Alarm

Jody Brooks 10:38

are you. In season two, we talked about the oversensitive smoke alarm. A smoke alarm has a brilliant job. It's designed to notice smoke and make noise before a small problem becomes a very serious one. You do not stand beneath it and three in the morning after it has screamed because you may toast and call it wicked. You may have some feelings about its timing. You may question why it believes a crumpet is a fireball, but its job is still protection. A protector is a bit like that old fire alarm. It learned what danger looked like when you were younger. It learned the smell of shame, rejection, anger, exclusion, being laughed at, getting something wrong, watching someone withdraw or feeling that a room was no longer safe. Years later it can go off at toast. A slightly critical email, a delayed reply, an invitation to speak, a compliment, a new opportunity, a person looking at you for half a second longer than feels comfortable. Now you do not rip the alarm off the ceiling, you recalibrate it. That is the beginning of self-trust. Not making the alarm silent, not pretending there is never smoke, not telling yourself in a booming voice that you are absolutely fine when your body is plainly holding a meeting about survival, it's learning to say thank you. I can hear you, let me look around from where I am

Parts And Predictions

Jody Brooks 12:07

now. Lisa Feedman Barrett, who I've mentioned before, her work on brain as a prediction machine gives me a phrase I find incredibly useful. A protector is a prediction with a personality, it's not a prophecy. It's not a moral verdict, it's an old prediction based on old information. Now wearing shoes and opinions and turning up in your Tuesday morning. There's also a model called Internal Family Systems associated with Dr. Richard Schwartz, which understands the mind as having different protective parts. So this is not just me making it up because I enjoy giving my emotional life a cast list, although to be fair I do enjoy that. It gives us a kinder way to understand why a part of us can want two apparently opposite things at the same time. You can want to be seen and want to hide. You can long to take the next step and feel your legs turned to custard when it's time. You can be grateful for your life and still be tired of performing it. Two things can be partly right at the same time. That is not hypocrisy. That is being

Where Sid Began

Jody Brooks 13:22

human. Let me tell you where Sid walked in. I was about ten and I was in a classroom with all the familiar smells of childhood education, poster paints, PVA glue, chalk dust caught in the little grooves of the blackboard, and along one wall the musty smell of pea bags and plimpsols as though a damp cupboard had been asked to supervise a group of children. There was a teacher I was certain hated me. I don't know whether she did. My truth is my truth. I only know how it felt in that room, in that chair, with my hands on the desk and my eyes trying to work out whether I was about to be in trouble again. One morning she was absent, a standing teacher came in, and I remember sitting quietly. I did my work, I even did my handwriting practice, which I hated with a passion, and that was probably disproportionate but felt entirely justified at the time. And I can't say it's anything I ever mastered. I often get asked if I'm a doctor when people see the state of my handwriting. But on this day I got on with it. No disruption, no drama, just a boy doing what he had been asked to do. When my teacher returned, the standing teacher told her how the class had been. She said no trouble at all, and Jodie has been excellent, just quietly getting on, no bother at all. And for a moment pride rose in me. Proper pride. I'd done it, I'd been good, I'd been seen. The thing I thought I could never quite manage had been noticed by an adult. I can still feel the little lift of that moment. Then my teacher said, Well, I find that very hard to believe. I'll be the judge of that. That was it. A line, a moment. It may have been throwaway to her. It did not feel throwaway to the boy in the chair. I said nothing, I did not argue, I did not make a scene, I took it in, shrank back into the chair, and somewhere in that small body a conclusion began to harden. Even at my best I was a failure. Even when somebody says I've been good, perhaps they've been fooled, perhaps I'm a fraud, perhaps my best will never be enough. Sid did not need to invent that conclusion. He inherited it. He picked it up, dusted it off, and made it a part of his school rules from that point forward. When I came back to this memory later, I used the gentle why. Not a harsh why, the gentle why from season two that demands a clever answer. A gentle why that makes room to listen. Why did that hurt so much? Because you failed. Why did I fail? Because you were not good enough. Why does that matter? Because you will not be liked if you're not good enough. There it was. Not an adult thought, not a balanced assessment of a ten year old boy's performance in handwriting practice. A child's rule for belonging be good enough or people will not like you. Make no trouble, be useful, get it right, stay small, be exceptional, perhaps, because merely good might still be doubted. Make no trouble, be useful, get it right, stay small enough not to attract criticism, but good enough to earn safety. It's quite a workload for a child who mainly wanted to play out at break time and get through the day. Your version may not be a classroom, it may be a kitchen, a football pitch, a family party, a first job, a relationship, a group chat, a meeting room or a car parked outside a place you did not want to enter. It may be a moment when you offered your best and someone met it with a raised eyebrow, a joke, a comparison, a sigh, a silence, or some version of I will be the judge

Body First Then Story

Jody Brooks 17:23

of that. Do not go straight to the whole story. Start in your body when you picture that kind of moment. Where do you feel it now? Is there pressure behind your eyes? A tight brand across your chest, a drop in your stomach, a wish to fold your arms around yourself. Put both feet on the ground if you can, feel the chair underneath you, let the room you're in now be the room you are in now. Then, only if it feels manageable, ask yourself this. What did you decide about yourself in that moment? Not what would a wise adult say now, not what you should have concluded. What did the younger you decide in order to make sense of it? Perhaps it was I have to be perfect, perhaps it was I must not need anything. Perhaps it was if I speak I'll be laughed at. Perhaps it was I must keep everybody happy. Perhaps it was I'm only safe when I am useful. You do not need to prove that the memory is big enough. Your nervous system is not a court clerk demanding a stamp. If it mattered to you, it's allowed a chair in the room. And if you cannot find a moment, or you find one and you do not want to sit with it today, you do not have to. This is not a race, it's a journey. You can simply notice that a voice exists and leave the file closed

Name It And Cast It

Jody Brooks 18:53

for now. This week's tool is called the Name It and Cast It. It's so simple that part of your mind may roll its eyes. Ian certainly did. He looked at me as if I'd announced that the answer to everything was a colouring book and a scented candle,

Name the Inner Critic

Jody Brooks 19:10

but simple is not the same as shallow. When the voice stays untamed, it feels like you. It says I am rubbish and you hear it as your own knowing. It says do not apply and it can sound like common sense. It says do not trust that compliment and it and it feels almost responsible to agree. Naming it creates a small, vital space. Sid says I'm about to be found out, Ian says I missed the detail, and therefore my entire life is a fraud. The barrister is mounting a case. The bodyguard has offered to escort me to the biscuit cupboard for safety. Suddenly there is a speaker rather than an unquestioned truth. Naming it creates a small vital space. Sid says I'm about to be found out. Ian says I missed a detail and therefore my entire life is a fraud. The barrister is mounting the case. The bodyguard has offered to escort me to the biscuit cupboard for my safety. Suddenly there is a speaker rather than an unquestioned

Cast the Protector Voice

Jody Brooks 20:20

truth. Casting takes the idea one step further. Give the prosecutor a name, give it a face, and give it a posture, give it a costume. Is it sitting forward in a tiny chair? Is it pacing? Does it carry a clipboard? Is it wearing a school blazer? A judge's wig, a high vis jacket, a superhero cape, a cardigan with a pen tucked in the sleeve? Does it speak quickly, slowly, sarcastically, sadly, or with confidence of somebody who's never once been invited to doubt himself? You're not doing this to make fun of what hurts, you're doing it to make the invisible visible. You're bringing the witness into the courtroom where you can actually hear what it says. You're moving from this is me to ah, this is part of me trying very hard to protect something. That is a different beginning. Take your time here. You do not need a notebook, you do not need the right answer, you only need a few minutes in which you can let yourself be curious. Think

Pick a Recent Moment

Jody Brooks 21:31

of the last week which voice showed up loudest. Not the most dramatic voice you've ever had, the one that appeared in an ordinary recent moment. Perhaps you were about to send something, perhaps somebody praised you, perhaps you looked at a photo of yourself, perhaps you considered resting and immediately felt guilty. Perhaps you were invited somewhere and felt a strange urge to decline before you'd even checked whether you want. Wanted to go, choose one moment, keep it small. A small moment is enough because the pattern does not need fireworks to show itself. Before you tell yourself why it happened, notice where it landed in your body. Where is the protector making itself known? In your throat, in the middle of your chest, across your shoulders, behind your forehead, in the hands that suddenly want to pick up a phone, wash up, make tea, tidy a drawer, do anything except remain with the feeling. You're not trying to get rid of the sensation, just locate it. Give it a little more room than you usually do. Take a slow breath, not a performance breath, you do not have to make it enormous or impressive. Just a breath that says I've noticed.

Give It a Chair

Jody Brooks 22:50

Now imagine that the voice is not inside your skin. Imagine it's sitting three feet in front of you. It has a chair, it's being given its own chair, because shouting from behind your eyes is not the same thing as being heard properly. What does it look like? Don't force an image, it may arrive as a person, a shape, an animal, a cartoon, a blur, a familiar type of adult, or simply a posture. If it's a posture, notice it. Does it fold its arms? Does it lean over you? Does it hide behind a folder? Does it stand at the door with keys in its hand? Does it stare at the floor? Does it look tired? Give it a name. It does not have to be clever. It could be Sid, it could be the auditor, it could be Captain Catastrophe, it could be Auntie No. It could be the little manager, it could be the one with the spreadsheet. It could be a name only you understand. The purpose is not a prize for creative writing. The purpose is that when it turns up, you can recognise straight away who has turned up and who is speaking. Now give it a costume. It has one, a barrister's wig, a headmaster's gown, a fluorescent jacket, a suit three sizes too big, a dressing gown and slippers, a school tie, a hard hat, a cloak. The costume tells you something about the role it thinks it has been assigned. Look at its face. Is it angry? Is it terrified? Is it disappointed? Is it smug? Is it exhausted? Is it much younger than you expected? Just notice without arguing. You do not have to agree with what it says in order to notice that it is trying to do

Ask What It Protects

Jody Brooks 24:43

a job. Then ask it gently what are you trying to stop? Wait, the answer may be a sentence, it may be an image, it may be a feeling, it may be nothing at all. Nothing is allowed. You're not being examined, you're sitting at a bench hearing a witness who has had a lot to say but has rarely been asked a decent question. Maybe it says it is trying to stop embarrassment, maybe it is trying to stop rejection, maybe it's trying to stop you being too visible, too needy, too hopeful, too disappointed. Maybe it's trying to stop you repeating a feeling that was once unbearable. Maybe it simply says I do not know. I have always done this. Whatever comes, thank it for the care. Not because the message is necessarily right, not because you're surrendering to the decision, because fighting it usually turns the volume up. Thank you for trying to keep me safe is not the same as you are in charge.

Build Self Trust Pause

Jody Brooks 25:52

Then look around from where you are now. Feel your feet, notice the date, notice the room, notice that you are not ten or six or seventeen, unless of course you actually are. In which case you're remarkably young for a podcast listener, and I applaud your excellent taste in podcasts. You are here now, you have knowledge, choices, resources, and a life that contains more than the original moment. You can say quietly, I hear that you think this is dangerous, I understand why you learned that. It's a pause between the alarm and the action, a pause where the defence gets to stand up, a pause where the jury, the part of you that can mediate between the conscious tip of the iceberg and the enormous history beneath it, can hear more than one side. If your name protector feels too close, make the distance bigger. Put it at the other end of the room, put it on a bench outside the courtroom, put it behind a pane of glass, you're allowed to stop. You're allowed to open your eyes, look out of the window, make a cup of tea and return to your day at your pace. Curiosity is an invitation, not a demand. The most important thing you may notice is this the voice has a character. The character has a job. The job is protection. Therefore, the voice is not the whole of you. You are the defence, the jury and the judge. The court may have been automatic, the mediation is chosen. For me, naming Sid did not make him vanish, neither did naming Ian. It did something more useful. It stopped me confusing their certainty with truth. Sid carried that classroom moment. He was waiting to unmask the boy who'd been praised. Ian kept the file with its smell of PVA glue and musty PE bags, and the conclusion written in Charles' handwriting, not good enough, means not liked. And as soon as I could see Ian holding it, I could begin to ask why that file was so important to him. He had more, lots more, he had evidence from later years, evidence I'd filed as facts and never really considered as part of the same case. We will sit with some of that on Friday carefully at your pace. For now, it's enough to know that a protector can sound harsh because it's trying to prevent a pain. It remembers the map is old, the satinav is still using a route created before you knew you had options. You do not need to shout at it, you can update it one journey at a time.

Hear the Repeated Line

Jody Brooks 29:03

There's another way to recognise the protector, especially if pictures and names do not arrive easily for you. Listen to the sentence it repeats. The sentence is often its calling card. You might hear, do not make a fool of yourself. Now that may be your barrister, self-doubt, trying to stop public embarrassment. You might hear they're going to find out that you're not really qualified. That may be your Sid wearing a mask and assuming everybody else can see through it. You might hear that was not good enough even after a perfectly ordinary human effort. That may be your Ian carrying a highlighter and a pile of old evidence. You might hear not today start when you feel more like it, and that may be your bodyguard standing between you and the discomfort it has decided is unsafe. The exact sentence matters less than the tone. Is it urgent? Is it cold? Is it childish? Is it sarcastic? Does it sound suspiciously like someone you had to listen to? Does it use words you would never use with someone you loved? The voice is often so familiar that you've stopped hearing it. Naming it gives you back your hearing.

Try the Two Questions

Jody Brooks 30:22

Try this for a moment now. Let your body be where it is. Let your jaw soften if it's clenched. Notice the contact between your back and the chair or your feet and the floor. Bring to mind a recent moment when you put something off, over explained yourself, asked for reassurance, stayed quiet or felt oddly unable to accept praise. Do not ask what is wrong with me. Ask what sentence arrived. If a sentence arrives, repeat it in your head exactly as it comes, then add the name you've given to that voice. Ah, that is Sid saying I'll be exposed, or that is Ian saying I should have known better, or that is the barrister forecasting disaster. The addition may sound tiny, but it's a change in position. The voice is no longer speaking from the judge's chair, it is giving evidence. Now ask the second question, what is this trying to protect me from? You may find a simple answer, such as humiliation, disappointment, loneliness, criticism, being too much, being ignored, letting somebody down. You may find a much older feeling behind a newer situation, you may find no answer at all. Do not fill the silence with a story just because silence feels awkward. You can just let it be quiet. If you feel a rush of emotion, return to the ordinary things around you, name five things you can see, feel the temperature of the air on your face, notice a sound. You've not failed the process, you have simply met a protector close to the door. You can say thank you, I can see this feels important, I'm not going any further right now. That is a trustworthy response

Spot the Patterns

Jody Brooks 32:15

too. Over time you may spot that the protector arrives in a pattern. Sib may wait and wait until a good moment because praise feels dangerous when you learned it could be taken away. Ian may arrive at night when the day is quiet and every file seems louder, and the barrister may wake before a decision. The bodyguard may clock off only once the opportunity is gone. None of these patterns make you ridiculous. They make sense when you understand what the system first learned. The goal is not to make your inner life into a fancy drama series, although the casting budget is admittedly excellent. The goal is to replace confusion with companionship. You do not have to become the voice, you can sit beside it, hear it, and still decide. To help you do this without needing to rely on memory,

Tools and Community Sheet

Jody Brooks 33:08

I've made this week's Free Meet Your Protectors naming and character sketchy. It's in the Messy Midlife community and it gives you a simple place to name the voice, describe its face, posture, costume, notice its usual lines and ask what it believes it's protecting. It's not there to make you perform emotional admin perfectly. There'll be no marks. Sid may be disappointed, but Sid is not in charge of the stationery. It's there because once a voice has a name and a chair, it's a little harder for it to pass itself off as the entire truth of you. The messy midlife community is warm and free from judgment, and it's where all the free tools live from this podcast. Take the sheet if it's useful, leave it if today is not the day. Both choices are allowed.

Invitation and Wrap Up

Jody Brooks 34:02

So here's your invitation for the days ahead. Take under ten minutes to name one protector that showed up recently. Notice where it sits in your body, and if you do not do it, nothing bad happens. That is all. No gold stars, no telling yourself off, no turning self-trust into another thing to get right. Who is talking and what are they protecting? Self doubt may be speaking from the fog, Sid may be waiting with his ruler, Ian may be unfolding his evidence with great satisfaction, the bodyguard may be suggesting you postpone your life until after a snack. But none of them are the whole court. None of them gets to deliver a verdict alone. You can thank them for their care, you can listen for the message, you can explain gently that you're going to look at the road from the place where you stand now again and again. That is how an old file begins to be updated. It's not a lightning bolt, it's a gentle sunrise. You're not falling apart, you're waking up,

Next Episode and Subscribe

Jody Brooks 35:13

you're noticing the voice in the room, and that is where self-trust begins. On Wednesday, I'll be joined by George Harb, a neuroencoding specialist and peak performance coach at Empower You Coaching. We'll talk about conditioning strength and the stories that can masquerade as your identity. It's a conversation about mental health distress with care and no suicide content, and you'll be able to watch George as well as listen on Apple, YouTube and Spotify. You can find all the extra information, guest profiles and show notes on the Messy Midlife Podcast homepage. For all the latest from Messy Midlife, it's not a crisis, it's a calling to connect. Head to messymidlifepodcast.world. You can join the community there, and every episode has its own page with lots of extra details and information for you. And one gentle ask, if you're enjoying listening to the show, please please make sure you click follow, add the show to your home page and subscribe. If you haven't subscribed to the newsletter yet, you can do that also at the website. And especially if you could take five minutes to leave a review on Apple, a comment on Spotify or YouTube. These all help spread the word and get the show to other people who might need to hear the message that Messy Midlife isn't a crisis, it is in fact a call in to connect. So, as always, until next time, stay curious, stay kind, and keep coming home to who you really are. Thank you for spending this time with me on Messy Midlife. If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might need to hear it today. You can find the show notes below and more resources at authenticcoaching.me. And just a little gentle reminder Messy Midlife requires information, reflection, and personal growth. If you have concerns about your physical or mental health, please reach out to a qualified professional. Until next time, take good care of yourself. And remember, midlife might be messy, but it's not a crisis, it's a calling to class.